Both men and women like to roam around and take what they want, when they want. If you have yet to get into this wild game casual sex online then what are you waiting for? Take a cue from me. I am 29, and have been dating online for 3 years. Before then, I was in a series of lengthy monogamous relationships with guys that never amounted to more than splitting rent in an apartment we both did not like.
I was compromising a lot of my time for other people, people who I thought cared about me and would compromise too. I finally realized after another failed relationship that I had to stop thinking about making other people change, because they will not. Everyone is out in the world looking to get themselves forward, not you. I realized I had wasted time in thinking that a stable long-term relationship would help me get farther in life.
Instead I decided to focus on my own selfish needs, no matter how strange it felt. Pretty soon I was feeling better about myself, my future, and my emotional state. I began online dating with no strings attached. It was such a thrill. No one to tell me what to do, keep me away from the way I wanted to present myself.
It was exceptionally liberating, and I had some great times in those first 6 months of online dating with no strings attached. My friends and family were shocked to see me change so much just months after ending my longest monogamous relationship. I told them that I think human beings are meant to live loosely in sexual relations with multiple people — and that I do not care of the people I am sleeping with also sleep with other people.
It just mattered that I was able to get laid when I wanted it. Getting to this level is where we all want to be as humans, in my opinion. Even my parents say the same thing, and they are still married!
These pseudo-relationships would typically follow the same cycle, she notes. This would happen off and on over the course of a few months with the same guy, then the relationship of sorts would just fizzle and die. Wash, rinse repeat with the next. Fessler wrote that she experienced this with at least five men by her senior year. She felt used and desperate for emotional intimacy. Fessler decided to devote her senior thesis to this phenomenon that was taking its toll on herself and so many of her friends, who for all other intents and purposes were successful, involved, well-rounded students.
Fessler interviewed 75 male and female students and conducted more than online surveys. She found that percent of female interviewees and three-quarters of female survey respondents stated a clear preference for committed relationships.
The male responses were just as complex, she adds. The young women I spoke with were taking part in hookup culture because they thought that was what guys wanted, or because they hoped a casual encounter would be a stepping stone to commitment.