Depends on how one defines casual. I wouldn't get much from basically just fucking someone I didn't know or care about at all, but if there was good chemistry even if it was a one time thing, yeh that's cool. This is my perspective -- I don't go much for casual sex with strangers, but will happily have an encounter with acquaintances or friends if the vibe is right.
I seem to remember you saying somewhere that you're not into vanilla sex at all, if you don't me asking - how does that work with casual encounters? Or are people way more kinky than I imagine?
I'm lucky enough that the crowd of people I tend to hook up with knows that I'm kinky, because my friend group talks about this stuff openly. And I usually tell them to be a bit more aggressive with me. But most guys can be encouraged to slap my ass around at a minimum. I like getting bound, pinned down, smacked, bitten, bruised, choked, hair pulled, etc. Actually I almost never get creepy PMs, the only ones I've ever gotten were insinuating stuff about me and my father.
That's exactly what I'm into. Is there a formal name for it? I'm pretty new to understanding everything about kink. Never liked club hookups and such. This is a good way to put it. I don't go in for jealousy or needing to "posses" a woman, so having sex outside of a committed relationship isn't an issue. I've had a couple of random hookups and didn't really like it. I've also hooked up with closer acquaintances a couple times and it was much better.
Turns out emotions are an important part of sex, even if none of those emotions are love. Its because this is Reddit and most people here are more or less introverts. Men who partake in casual sex aren't your average Reddit users and probably spend a lot less time on social media in general. And your logic for this is what? How does them being sexually promiscuous come into it? Dude, you match the girls on dating apps and take their number, once you have it you use Whatsapp where they are most active.
Do you have any more questions? It seems to swing back and forth in 20 year jumps. The s and s-present seemed to be all about casual sex, where as the s and the ss we were pretty against it. We are just starting to see the pendulum move towards the conservative again, and probably for the next years.
With a follow up of reddit legal advice. Maybe a dramatized tv show of how it would work out of tried. Nothing from legal advice can be included though. It's something that askmen and some other male centric subs aren't wild about but on relationships or one of the other female brigaded subs you find uniform pressure to just accept it and not infer anything from a partner who has a history of engaging in it.
I cannot believe that they would actually have a subject where they tell people to deal with something rather than "get out of there as fast as you can! Oh they have enough time to tell every man who has any issue at all that he's wrong and should empathise with his gf. It's hugely female centric and any discussion about sexual history or casual sex comes down to a certain amount of shaming by default.
I, along with thousands of others, would agree that casual is definitely the way to go. I see a lot of articles praising it and saying it's the norm so that made me think that everyone was doing it. Everyone I know who's still having casual sex at age 30ish is pretty bummed out about it, and pretty cynical about the way apps like Tinder turn human interaction into quick shopping trips. I don't think it's an unpopular opinion at all - casual sex is cool when sex is new and the "hehehe just had seeeex" feeling is still there.
But I think it loses its appeal fast. I think people even enjoy fuck buddies way more than one night stands, even with no romance at least you like and are comfortable with the person you're fucking.
Personally I used to not like it for me, and it's never been something I really want, even when it was surprisingly easy to get. I keep my sex exclusively in relationships. I just can't see what casual sex accomplishes that makes it enough of a step up from masturbation to spend the time and the money getting it. Before I was getting any sex I thought it was all I wanted, but after getting my shit together and "achieving" the ability to get it I felt pretty unpleasant when there was several occasions where I upset several women who I slept with casually and didn't want anything more than that.
So I basically am not a fan of it now because it can cause a lot of heart break and misery when one person wants more. Also I got burned quite hard by a girl who only wanted casual sex but I thought we were something more. I've always been a relationship person.
It's not fun for me unless I'm very comfortable with the girl and that only happens after a couple months of dating. Not my thing anymore, but I'm older now and more focused on my relationship than I was in my 20's.
I don't regret the hook ups I had, but in retrospect it's been much more fulfilling to have a real connection with someone than just hooking up for sex.
I didn't have a ton of partners, but sometimes I wonder if any of those could have been a lifetime one. I'd rather stay home and fap. I need to have an emotional connection with someone to fully enjoy sex, and you really don't get that with a hookup. I lost my v-card to a hookup, and while I'm glad that I don't have that as a hangup anymore, it still wasn't enjoyable. Although it probably didn't help that said hookup was a bit above my fatness turnoff level.
Sex with feelings is better, but casual sex is still pretty great and a lot easier. Relationships take time and effort to develop and maintain.
Casual sex is just a few grindr messages away. I hear this often that sex is much better with someone you have feelings for vs some rando I think a big part is the cuddling and eye contact.
With my boyfriend, I can just lie there holding him, staring into his eyes for ages. You're more familiar with what they like and they more familiar with what you like , for example, so good sex becomes more reliable.
Deeper levels of trust and intimacy allow for more challenging things too, not to mention the time to do it. I don't have much experience, but the main difference I epxerienced is the pressure of having a one-time encounter vs.
If it's a one-time-thing, I always had problems getting it up or couldn't get it up at all. The pressure is immense. You hope that you're big enough, that you last long enough, that you get it up, that you strike the right amount of being dominant, that you figure out how she wants to be touched, that you figure out where she likes to be touched, that you make her orgasm, that she is into some of the things you're into, that she's satisfied, etc.
Sex is like pizza. It's good even when it is bad. Casual sex is never as good as emotional sex in a relationship. But it's still good. One slice of emotional Pizza probably beats one slice of casual Pizza. But you can have so much different casual Pizza, while the emotional Pizza stays the same and gets old after a while. Also, don't order anything but a deep dish in Chicago. It's not that deep dish is great, it's that New York Style pizza in that city is inedible.
You might get an infection from it. Domino's is better in the UK btw. It's the best you're getting without going to a restaurant. Honestly if you live away from one of the regions famous for having really good pizza, it kind of is. Down there Domino's actually did make the best pizza. I love Domino's Pizza. I'm sure there some New Yorkers here who want to punch me for saying that. But I just don't understand how anyone can enjoy eating cardboard with red paint.
They have crust that's basically solid carbs, a bit of sauce, processed cheese, and a pile of high sodium seasonings. Saying Domino's is disgusting because it's not real pizza is like saying Taco Bell is disgusting because it's not real Mexican food.
You can't make the comparison between fast food and restaurant food, because they both have their appeals. If I'm gonna crush a case of beer, I don't want fancy restaurant pizza to go with it.
But Domino's sounds excellent. I would suggest trying something better when you have the opportunity. Actual Chicago style, for example. Its great, particularly if it comes at the right time in your life. Catching feelings is not good though. Its also tricky if the circumstances aren't ideal. I went over to this girl's place and realized she had cats. I am allergic to cats. So I had some itchy patches on my way home. Definitely not for me. I need that deep emotional connection, so I only have sex within a committed relationship.
I have been flat out rejected several times because I was not open to sex until in a committed relationship. Personally, it sounds nice in my head, but in reality I don't think I would enjoy it afterwards. I'm a big ol softie and I want to have a deeper attachment with my partner when making love. You cheapen yourself, you cheapen others and just think about whether you want any real partner to know the extent of your hookups or if you would want to know the same extent of theirs A big part of me says sexual liberation is great, learning about ourselves and our partners is great too, it's certainly fun, but, in the end is it what we really want or need?
I think ultimately it's destructive and confusing for all parties. That said, I continue to seek out such things because I'm used to that junk food diet and these cravings have become the norm But once again, is this something we want to keep circling around? I'd rather be in a monogamous relationship with someone who I know feels the same as I do about taking birth control seriously.
I've had FWB before But the lack of emotional connection during sex really didn't do anything for me. Im neither confident enough to ask someone I just met for sex and not handsome enough for a lady to say yes. Not to mention Im not really into meaningless sex as good as sex feels. Casual sex is great when you are only interested in being single. However, if you are in pursuit of something more Well, casual sex is still good.
Plus, getting to know if you and that other person are sexually compatible early on is a good idea. Only after a date or two when I think there's a connection worth pursuing. But then again, I am not that good in such social interactions and I'm sure that if wasn't such a shy, scared teenager that would've gotten some, I would have a different stance on it. I learned to be not value sex itself so much since I've had to learn to be okay with dry spells over a year and such.
Casual sex is in my experience even more complicated to get by than a relationship, but as I said, social interactions beyond friendship and stuff aren't my strongest suit. Tried it a little years ago, definitely not my thing but if someone enjoys it, more power to them, I don't judge.
I've always thoroughly enjoyed it. I had a pretty good system going with craigslist personals where, when traveling, I'd post an ad a few days before I arrived, then again the day I arrived. The ad was pretty straightforward, that I was looking for a woman to see while I was traveling, that I was respectful, my age and a few stats, etc.
I could usually cull leads from these ads, and seeing as how I rarely travel for more than days, I could find a different lady to see each night of my trip. I felt craigslist was particularly well suited for this because the only people trolling craigslist were people looking for, er, "casual encounters". CL personals was unceremoniously shut down the other night and presumably will never be back.
Frankly, much of my success was due to the way my ad was written, and the photo was generally inconsequential. If you get the paid upgrade for Tinder you can change your location to your future destination and connect with people there. Actually in my experience tinder was not as reliable.
You might get interested people but 10 willing to meet ,8 flake one just wants to get coffee,and if the stars and sun aline right the last one might want to get down. Cregslist might get 6 replies but at lest one usually works out. I had no idea CL personals was gone.
I never used it, but used to love browsing through it for shits and giggles. That and Missed Connections. Dinner with work friends, get back to the hotel around 9, think "I wonder if I could fuck a fat chick tonight? Oh that's shit, I checked after I saw this and they're still open in the UK sorry about that guys!!! There are absolutely no dating sites or personals that have casual sex in them.