It is great knowing that in any given city, I can find a certain type of woman who is up for a certain type of fun. On the other hand, I am starting to think more seriously about normal long term relationships again. Had sex with a prostitute when I was in Amsterdam. I was 19, getting antsy about cashing in my v-card so I wanted to get it done. She could tell I was nervous and was really nice about the whole thing—She even did some stuff that would have cost extra. I am 70 years old very fit and very active.
My wife has been an invalid for 4 years and sex is no longer a proposition. After two years I decided to visit a lovely lady and the experience was anything but seedy. I found her to be intelligent, articulate and of course fantastic fun. I have been only with her for 18 months now on a regular basis, we have become the closest of friends and I must say I love her with a vengeance.
We are I suggest having an emotional affair. She is a married lady with married children and comes from a good family. Her husband knows what she does for work but has chosen to look the other way. The rest of her family and her social circle have no idea what she does. Of course, her husband has no idea of my relationship with his wife or even that I exist.
I will never do anything to hurt her or her family and I am well aware that one day the relationship is likely to end. For my part, I have made a friend for life and I look forward — like a teenager — to seeing her and to our daily telephone conversations. I am proud to call her a friend and wish we had met years ago under different circumstances. I would love to be able to introduce her to my group of friends and to my family.
Financially, I will never expect to see her during her work time without contributing. When we meet outside of her work time there is no financial expectation.
I am writing this because I think it needs to be said. Yes, I am an adulterer I am cheating on my wife but I am very respectful, have found happiness with a delightful person and have no regrets.
A lot of wives want to check out of the sex department because they do not feel the need anymore and expect their husband to just jerk off once a week at the bathroom. Well, ladies, that is not how a husband became a man and stayed a man. I have a unique situation.
My wife and I became teenage parents and immediately settled down with children. I found a lovely lady, I guess you would call her a sex worker, that I have visited twice now.
I go to her house and we cuddle and explore. She works another job and seems to not have many guys she sees.
I know how this sounds but it has been therapeutic for me. As a disabled guy, sex workers have been a blessing in helping me come out of my shell and gain confidence. Sex with a prostitute is just sex. Sex with a non-prostitute tends to come with baggage.
If all you want is sex, then it makes sense to not have to carry the baggage, great or small, that a non-prostitute entails.
NSA sex might be just that, no strings attached. But it rarely is. There is, at a minimum, a certain set of social obligations that comes along for the ride. Casual sex is fraught with strings, too. So, she does host! Hi Jules Like you I felt this is not real. But I think her blog are mode up of articles written by others and she is open about that, she is the editor only. Many of the articles there are not written by a person with good language skills, or sexual experience.
Several places a read sex scenes when the woman describes that the man first had anal sex with her and then penetrated her vagina.
I am no into anal sex, but have learned that this is no no, due to hygien. I agree with you Iben. I ask this in all seriousness. I realize people have different sex drives and fetishes. But, why does it have to be with partners? I would much prefer it to be with someone whom I care about. I do not believe in treating human beings in a casual manner. For me it is about dignity. When you do, I want you to consider the spirit in which it was written.
I took your advice and re-read your piece. While I did get a little bit more out of it, its substance remains the same: However, it is still about casual sex i. Yes, people can and in fact do have casual flings in the manner you have written. How can we discuss such things with your imposed judgement?
First, I want to explain to you that the articles on her blog, except for a few guest posts, are written by Ms. I know this because I have had the opportunity to interact with her over a long period of time, both publicly on blogs, twitter, etc. I want to discuss what is a sex friendly society. Are there any sex friendly societies on this earth today? What models for society can we imagine and work towards. It is best to set boundaries for one self and not for others, we can agree on that G.
Do you really think that increased orgasms for your fellow women is really going to lead to the degradation of society? Why must there be multitudes of different partners over a short period of time, if increased orgasms is REALLY the objective? The choice is hers. I agree with you. But it is possible we persons are very different sexually, and some need a stranger to feel intense feelings.
And old friend of my used to say when he got drunk: Do I condemn perfectly normal sexual behavior because I see red flags when men want causal sex only? I asked a specialist if it is atypical sexual behavior if a woman prefers causal sex only. Here is his answer:. Cantor is a psychologist and sexual behavior scientist. Associate professor of Psychiatry….
Hi Robin In the western societies we have many different types of relationships between men and women that includes sex. And you end with saying: Iben These are very reasonable points that you are making.
If there was security and passion with the life-long partner, would there really be a need for these other alternative? The reason is because the marriage was sexless and passionless. Had there been sex and passion I would still be married.
Are you suggesting people some want to have there cake an eat it to? I guess these are all the alternatives you speak. Reading this articulate, well written post on on what is best described as a difficult subject, and was completely taken aback by the vitriol filled comments, more specifically how personal they were. Robin, Just what purpose is served from having sex with tons of different men?
Are you just a highly sexual woman who is in constant need of variety and novelty? So many women seem to think it is some kind of rite of passage to have lots of casual sex with lots of different men. Not to judge you, but the whole thing seems down right nasty and decadent. Your serious lack of self esteem is apparent in your writing. Please refrain from your harmful advice and stop writing. You need to re-examine your life and values before you dole out advice to anyone.
I hope you get the support you need to be healthy in the future. Why do so many people like you have disdain for people who do not adhere to the utilitarian view of life? I live by the Law. In my personal case, it is the Law of Moses and the Prophets. If you wish to be amoral, so be it. But, I as a citizen of this damn Republic, am free to say what I damn well wish and believe. Same for you too buddy! It is hard to understand how you feel it is safe to bring a steady steam of new strangers into your home.
Craigslist is not seen as safe. Not everyone on Craigslist is a serial rapist, for crying out loud, so stop making it into this cesspool of humanity. Your frank judgment of her actions is more telling of the person you are and not the person she is. All of the dating sites have rapists, murderers and just psycho people that have something that gets them off…so we all must beware! I see it is a dangerous way to live. And I would expect some of the men to use me,not show me respect.
That is how I feel,and that is my personal opinion. That strategy does not work with me Cara. She may feel safe because despite the scare mongering the vast majority of men are not rapists waiting to strike.
He takes ,uses her and leave. And I have no problems in admitting that I am against prostitution for several reason. What a man,child or woman must do for living under deep poverty is one think,I do not condemn persons that have to sell their body to survive. But I am against it as a legal job in a Western country when we still have other alternatives to earn money.
She means he has sex with her without respect and without giving. Now in situations where one is looking to do that to the other but without being upfront about it that is certainly a problem. This issue is complicated. I am not read up on research and seldom read news about discussion about for and against making prostituion legal. Of course I am against exploited labour. That question is an insult. Write an article then let many give us more facts about prostition.
Yes a lot of them are. But are you ready to just assume they all are? Maybe you sell sex, or dream of selling sex. I share the same view s you have on prostitution. But, this is our history as men. We have always sought to do one another in via wars etc. To the victor go the spoils including the women. When I wrote that many prostitutes are victims of childhood sexual abuse , or have problems like addiction drugs I used the word many. Overall you are saying that you are against legalizing prostitution.
That affects all prostitutes, not just the ones that are victims of childhood abuse and addiction. You see the difference right? I live in a democracy and use my vote and my voice. States that choose to have laws that say it is illegal to buy sex have lots of reasons for doing so, the welfare of the men and women in prostitution is only one of the reasons. After telling me to marry a prostitute to show my respect for them? I never said there were no other valid reasons. Our exchange just happened to focus on wellbeing.
You see prostitutes as persons that use others for money. Danny It is true. Issues like this one triggers strong emotions in me. And it has nothing to do with men women relationship, , but rather how we see sexuality in our societies.
And that makes me sad and upset. The way some are used sexually by others , like in trafficking makes me cry. And if some filthy rich persons pays a fortune to sleep with beautiful women, and feel they are used by them.
Well , I do not feel sorry for the costumer. Kim, are you kidding me??? Also, you must be really sheltered or just plain naive if you believe that OK Cupid or Match. I am a criminal defense lawyer and I have represented numerous rapists, physical attackers, aggravated robbers and even have defended murderers who found their victims on a dating site. This is exactly what she is doing, in some cases. Btw, I think one of her best blogs was about why so many married men are looking for sex.
Ladies, you ALL need to read her blog. Hi Jules I followed your advise and took a look at Robins blog, but could not find the article you refer to. Here is what I found: Melissa Yes it true. I have never used dating sites. It means you have to ask for his ID. I have no idea how to run a extensive background check of a person. All I know is how to look up how much tax they pay and the property they own as described in tax records. I had this relationship exactly once.
It was with a bi woman who formed her emotional relationships with women. I was on the mend from a relationship, else my emotions might have figured heavily. At the end, I think she was becoming a little emotional. And that is also why it can be a dangerous game to play. Been there , done that. I want others to comment on my theory as to one of the reasons why female demand for casual sex is so low.
I find your theory cynical, to say the least. If women merely want attention, going to a bar is a far more efficient method of getting it than looking for casual sex online. In addition to the emotional work mentioned in the article, the effort required to put up an ad, read through the deluge of responses many of which will be far from flattering , establish a connection and a modicum of trust with a stranger, and arrange a mutually convenient time and place to meet can feel more like work than an ego boost.
VERY few women relative to men are looking for casual sex explicitly, period. I was trying to explain THAT. However, if you want to know why some women are reluctant to look for casual sex online, take a look at this thread. About half of the comments, including your own, are devoted to judging women for our sexual choices. Women do have causal sex. Go to international conferences and will know women have sex with men and women they just met, fully aware that this is causal sex. Given the right circumstances and surrounded with interesting, bright well educated men to choose women do have causal sex.
Probably as often as men do. I must admit I do somewhat agree with Max. In fact, I am certain of this. Psychological and other research, including surveys, lead to the conclusion that all humans want the emotional bond created by sex If people were just seeking pleasure they can more than easily satisfy themselves, and there are toys on the market for both males and females for this purpose.
I for one, am not going to agree on the idea that there is much disparity between the desire for and participation in casual sex between men and women….
I also never said a only half dozen women are getting it on either. Max, I think that plenty of women desire casual sex, however there is more at stake in trying to find it.30 Oct Have a casual sex story to share with the world? Or want to read other people's hookup experiences? That's what The Casual Sex Project and. 26 Mar in , when casual sex is easy to come by for free, why do men visit prostitutes? She told me she would never have had sex without one. 6 Apr Absolutely none. That's why casual sex, like prostitution, should be criminalized. People should not be permitted to have meaningless orgasms.
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